How much harm does the other people’s child hurt-haole010.com

Other people’s children are hurt in the vast expanse of the universe, there is a magical creature called "other people’s children", the "other people’s children in all aspects are very good, not only has excellent performance, gentle character, well versed in exam and fancies of men of letters, a top university can afford, graduate students, doctoral students, can find the white Formica, got marry rich handsome…… Compared to the other people’s children, our own children may only have than other people’s children, poor grades, test than other people’s children. The University, earned more than "other people’s children" low wages, to find a "home than others" poor black children poor ugly or short poor dwarf, not other people’s children so much good, no other people’s children so good…… But who is the child of someone else’s house? Sometimes you can learn, but most of the time you really don’t know who it is. This "other people’s children" is always so perfect in his parents’ mouth that he always has good qualities that I don’t have, and more importantly, his qualities always appear more glorious in the mouths of parents when I have problems. But, "his own children" really do not understand: "since he is so good, why the father and mother does not seek him to be his own child, but to one side is not as good as" other people’s children ", I will be their children? Why? Is it just to defeat the only little pride and confidence I have? Just to let me know I’m as good as others, the Board shall not in good taste?" Have a listen to a "other people’s children" talk show, the host tells a story: once in order to let these their children have a happy summer vacation, I took the group of other people’s children to call a meeting together, can not beg for a three don’t take the piano a few levels, when Lee can persuade four exam two wrong answers, it is not possible to copy my answer…… Then he said, "come again, Wang five." everyone asked why he was here. This meeting was a meeting of other people and excellent children. Wang said, "five," my mother said, "everybody else’s children are in a meeting. What are you doing at home?"!" Mom and dad really spared no chance to let their children learn from other people’s children! Don’t know other people’s children feel if I was someone else’s child, I can not bear too good, if the other buddy crazy country, generally speaking, I am a good person. Don’t let other people’s children "ruined" their own children "I think even if it is small when parents have experienced such a thing, cannot avoid themselves and their descendants live in" other people’s children "in the shadow of suffering oppression, this period is short for more than 10 years, long life to. Even if the sun is shining, I dare not look up; even if I want to show myself, I dare not stand on the stage. Because the "other people’s children" is there, I can not catch up, I can only live in a dark corner behind him, looking up at his glory. That’s what we were when we were kids, and even now it’s going on. We all experience ~!

“别人家孩子”到底有多伤人在茫茫宇宙之中,存在着一种神奇的生物叫做“别人家的孩子”,这个“别人家的孩子”方方面面都很优秀,不仅有着优异的成绩,温婉的性格,琴棋书画样样精通,而且考得上一流大学,能读得起研究生、博士生,能找得到白富美、嫁得了高富帅……相比于这个“别人家的孩子”,我们这些“自家的孩子”也许只能拥有比“别人家的孩子”差的成绩,考个比“别人家的孩子”烂的大学,挣个比“别人家的孩子”低的工资,找个比“别人家的孩子”差的黑穷丑或矮穷矬,没有“别人家的孩子”那么大的出息,没有“别人家的孩子”那么争气……可是这个“别人家的孩子”究竟是谁家的呢?有时候能够获悉,但大部分时候还真不知道是谁。这个“别人家的孩子”在父母的口中总是那么完美,他总是能有着我没有的优秀品质,更重要的是,他的这些品质总是会在我出问题时,在父母的嘴里显得更加得光辉耀人。可是,“自家的孩子”真的不明白:“既然他那么好,为什么爸爸妈妈不把他找来当自己的孩子,偏偏要一个方方面面不如“别人家的孩子”的我来当他们的孩子呢?为什么?难道只是为了挫败我仅有的那一点点自尊和自信?难道只是为了让我自己知道我技不如人,登不得大雅之堂?”有一次听一个关于“别人家的孩子”的脱口秀节目,主持人讲了一个小故事:有一次为了让我们这些“自家的孩子”有一个快乐的暑假,我把那群别人家的孩子叫到一起开会,乞求张三能不能别考钢琴几级了,说服李四能不能考试的时候做错两道题,实在不行可以抄我的答案……说着说着又来一个孩子王五,大家就问他干嘛来了,这会议是别人家的、优秀的孩子们的会议,王五委屈的说“我妈说了,别人家的孩子都开会去了,你还在家干嘛呢!”爸爸妈妈还真是不放过任何让自己的孩子跟“别人家的孩子”学习的机会啊!不知道“别人家的孩子”作何感想,如果我是别人家的孩子,我一定都不忍心太优秀,万一把其他小伙伴逼疯了咋办,总的来说,我也是个善良的人啊。不要让“别人家的孩子”毁了“自家的孩子”我想即便现在的父母小时候都过经历过这样的事情,也免不了自己和后代都生活在“别人家的孩子”的阴影中,不见天日,这段时期短达十几年,长至一生。即使阳光再明媚,我却不敢抬头;即使我再向往展示自己,我却不敢站到舞台上。因为“别人家的孩子”就在那里,我不可能追得上,我只能生活在他背后的一个阴暗的角落里,仰视着他的光辉。这就是我们小时候的状况,甚至现在还在持续。我们都体验过这样的教育带给我们的煎熬与无奈,可我们的孩子呢?我们都希望他们能够快乐幸福的成长,成为一个幸福而成功的人。那为什么这样的教育还要在他们身上重蹈覆辙呢?父母,甚至我们,总是试图用“别人家的孩子”和“自家的孩子”作比较,似乎这样可以让“自家的孩子”知耻而后勇,但其效果似乎会让“自家的孩子”知劣而退缩。不断地表扬“别人家的孩子”,从不放弃埋汰“自家的孩子”,这更像是在对孩子暗示:“你只有跟别人家的孩子一样足够优秀才能够配上我的爱!”这让亲子关系更像是一场谈条件的交易,而不是一种感情。事实上,每一次这样的比较都只能加深对“自家的孩子”自尊心和自信心的伤害,会让孩子永远记住自己技不如人的感觉,让孩子觉得自己不够重要。难道父母这样做,不是在费力而不讨好吗?正如卢梭说过一句经典名言:“父母费了大力气,辛辛苦苦把孩子教坏之后,然后又抱怨他怎么变成这样的人”。父母们赶紧觉醒吧!放弃这个“别人家的孩子”,放弃将自家孩子与所谓的“别人家的孩子”做比较。既然我们爱孩子,就不要爱得如此变态和变相,我们要让孩子体会到我们对他的真真切切的、无条件的、无代价的爱,我们可以引导他与昨天的自己作比较,每天比昨天进步一点点就可以。对于孩子的进步,我们看在眼里,记在心里,表达在嘴里,我们要适时适当的、真心的、热情的鼓励和表扬自己的孩子。这才是家长的责任,和培养杰出孩子的最大秘诀。今日话题:你会拿孩子和别人家的孩子经常比较吗?把你的看法发到我们微信公众号“Q宝先锋”的后台来,有机会获得精美好礼~相关的主题文章: